I am confused. That's all there is to it. I've been having so many strained relationships with people, faked attitudes, a little too mean comments, tiring days and too many high days- a week to be exact. From experience, that is definitely not a good thing. My exaggerate highness usually means there is an emotional conflict inside that the rest of my body doesn't want to give a message to my brain to tell my heart. It just means something big will be happening soon. And the rest of my body just seems to know, my brain will not be too happy about having to tell my heart the news.
How do you know if someone has got something against you? That's easy. They don't smile at you, they seem to always be in a bad mood when you're around and you just get that almost every pointed and mean exclamation is for you, about you and meant to hurt you. How do you know why? That's a harder question to answer, especially if you don't remember ever doing anything to entice such a string of odd meanness. Bewildered and hurt is bearable though, only if it weren't for the fact that it came from someone you've respected and loved for so long. Sure, history has played this story before but back then, there was a reason and you had reason to believe it was out of love. Now? What reason is there? And so just like that, it makes it sting more and makes it hurt more. So simple, so elegant, so sharp, so precise.
Why do human emotions play such a huge part in life. They appear in everything from conversations to movies, from images to relationships, they just simply have this affect on you. This thing that brings you up or down or just leaves you feeling numb. They can come out controlled when acting or emphasizing, it becomes a talent and an entertainment but when it starts becoming like an unstable set of electrons, they just bounce off looking for something to latch on to. They pry on unstable circumstances and set of nuclear explosions. the type that leaves you helpless of your own actions and just wishing you could have the power to stop it all.
Then comes the unorganized manner of which your life is. Those parts where you step back and all you see is a mess you just don't want to clean up. The parts that lay tangled in heaps of things to be done or relationships to be sorted out or events to be laid neatly in piles. They just add to the naggy, frustrating, infuriating, confusing and helpless mess of the person who is now in charge of this life. Oh the plain joy.
Let us not forget the ever so popular topic of emotions in particular, the heart. Yes, the one that is actually an irregular odd shape that people refine to the point of two curves, an inside point and an outside point. The one that usually comes in the form or colour of red. The one that has so much history and stories written about it. The famous/infamous LOVE. How am I to know if the guy cares about me? How am I to know if I'm just that hopeless teenager who is just in emotional distraught because it's the teen years? and HOW am I to understand the ever so confusing actions of a boy? 'sigh' and they think girls are confusing.
Once again, these are just the joys of life discovery and at the end of each lesson is the dawn of a new one. You can never be sure if you're happy or sad about them considering they bring both good and bad sides with them huh? Ahhh, the ever so intricate complicates of life's doors and surprises. Life is sometimes just what it is, life.
